As we wake up, we struggle to get up so we can push the two buttons we know will start our day. The coffee pot and the computer. As we pour our coffee, we hear those famous words U GOT MAIL. We wonder if it's the guy we met in the chat room last night, so rush to the computer.
I did this for one year, for two hours every morning. I chose one chat room that was familiar to me.
The nice thing about chat rooms- you can make many great people that will be friends for life. Which I have, and they know who they are.
In the room, I was always myself, since we all know you can be anyone you want. There are lonely people there just looking to chat. That I liked.
Then when the guys come on to a woman, say me, or another, the anamosity begins. If the guy asks to meet you, and you say no. My experience was when I said no thank you, I got called names.
I had my identity stolen in a chat room. Tho the fraud unit of AOL handled that. I had my picture used under another person's profile, another fraud.
I also had a stalker for two years, he watched wherever I went, and came in and called me all kinds of things. That went on for 2 years.
I was also cloned, which was told is the greatest form of admiration, tho it's not. But the fraud unit handled that also.
Tell me, are chat rooms your life. Do you stay in them for 10 hours at a time. I have seen people in the morning, then I went to work, and that night there they were. Do these people actually have a life.
I read an article that chat room dates are safer then dating someone you meet outside. I totally disagree.
We all have at least one horror story about an incident in a chat room. Would love to hear yours.
I haven't been in a chat room for a year now. Tho I still have a few good friends I met in the room, and that is healthy. What isn't healthy is meeting a stranger before you really know who he/she is outside the room. I don't say chat rooms are bad, but with the experiences I had, i'm done with them.
Whoever you are, if you plan a meeting, make sure it's during the day and in a crowded area. Don't go through what I had to with stalkers, cloners, and liars.
So please tell me what you think? Do you say HORRAY when a fight breaks out? Is AOL chat rooms your lifeline? I want to know. We all have our own stories. And if you ever have a chatroom stalker, just write to the fraud unit at AOL. Or you can always just take the arrow and click yourself out of the room.
An ex chat room woman I am.
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27 comments:
I too very seldon go to the chatrooms if at all. the real only time I went to the chat room is when I was very lonly and needed someone just to talk out side of my family since I was not close to any of my brothers and my betsfrind lives in Ark. so I met real nice woman, who started to talk to me, we became real good friends, but never met face to face. I've been with her in sprit though some real tough times in her live like the passing of her father and grandfather and even her son. To this a day we still have net face to face but I feel like I know her to the point the I'm in love with her, and some day we will meet. this reminds me of the movie with Tom Hawks and Meg Ryan "you got mail" but only thing is I live in Calif and she lives in New York.
Do or will you ever know someone on a computer? Can You believe anyone on a computer? Do you need to meet someone on a computer? I guess the answers are different for everyone. I've allways been myself. Up till 7yrs ago I only used my PC for business. After I became a Quadraplegic and regained enough movement for a PC I depended on it for all contact. Chat rooms didn't appeal to me cause I couldn't tell who was who. Some idiots even accused me of lying about myself. WOW what a rip! Lying about being a QUAD...how funny. I got on Myspace for about 4yrs and thought I had hit the "Buddy & Buddett Bonanza". I finally faced reality there and deleted my "sites". Only one person on my friends list ever emailed me afterwords. WOW another joke. All this time I played internet poker. I admitt I spend way to much time doing it. I play real money and point games. It's not really a place to meet people because 99.9% are full of crap. I was made fun of for having a handicapped sign for my avatar and yes I'm guilty of telling the women who posted racey pics how great they look BUT is it really their pic?? Hmmmmmmmmm! I have met a few players that "I" believe are real. One in paticular, we even exchange emails, pictures, and life experiences. Would I like to meet her?? Of course... Will I ever meet her?? No... Reality is a downer.
Chat, To converse informally,as in hi my name is____ ..NOT what are you wearing.how about whats your favorite food instead of your favorite Position (mine is standing up in a hammock )i dislike
the CAT fights do people really act like this in real life of does it give them satisfaction to be who they Aren't OR is that who they really ARE.one last thought for now How would the child you were View the person you have become to be continued
I met a woman in a chat room...she was a beautiful person and a wonderful woman.
We came to know each other very closely, as best I can say. We moved to talking, rather than typing, as we both happily anticipated progression. We talked of plans for a future, and added that we would love to meet each other. Feelings did progress...but the natural progression was always interrupted. We talked of many times, but that never happened for a variety of reasons.
Many things have happened in our lives. I used to be able to turn to her... and her to me... when there was a need for a comforting shoulder, a caring voice or just a friendly note. But that seems to have dissolved as she became immersed in her life.
I have a good life, and I'm an honest man, raised t be that way by fine parents. All I wish is that she might want to share in that.
She remains elusive and has stopped contacting me, even when I reach out to her. I still sign on, anticipating her messages. I still wait by the phone for the calls that she promised... but never made. I still hope... and lately she's been very angry (about something)...
Should I take that as a hint?
Blonde, great blog I do see some who are online day to night. My attention span must be short cause no way could I be in a room that long. I have met some wonderful ladies from online and some I haven't but cherish there friendship. I've also seen to many guys who are players and alot who just want to cause trouble. But one can always iggy or just leave the room at anytime.
Cory
You make many good points. I applaud you for urging people to take precautions and action against “online idiots.” I’m an honest guy. I acknowlege that “earth” is a tough planet to be a woman. There’s too many men around tossing out their lousy "pick-up lines!" Being an “online” woman is probably tougher than offline though because chat rooms, profiles and IM’s embolden losers who wouldn’t have the courage to say two words to a woman “in the real world.”
Whether chatting with people online or offline, we each need to understand ourselves and be able to figure out real fast, the agendas of those we’re dealing with. Online connections can be problematic. It’s easy for men and women to hide behind computer screens and be dishonest. On the other hand, the anonymity that the Internet provides can lead to honesty you won’t find in the flesh. Some people feel they can open up better to a stranger rather than to a friend or someone in person. Online or offline, one must successfully read and then deal with others in order to survive.
For the most part, I’ve had very positive experiences with connections I’ve made online and those that went from online to offline. In fact, the very last woman I truly connected with emailed me after reading my profile. We exchanged emails, IM’s, phone numbers, etc. She’s an amazing woman, unlike any woman I’ve known before. I wish I’d met her a long time ago. There’s little chance our paths would have ever crossed offline. Now, I can’t imagine walking through life without her. Should we take things to the limit and marry, I’ll cancel my AOL account the next day. Who needs the immature flirting and mindless comments found in most chat rooms? I’d rather focus my attention on just this one lady. Married folks shouldn't be in most of the chat rooms they are.
Chat rooms do have their attraction at times. They do have their share of dangers too. With the woman I have now though, chat rooms no longer have me. I’m sure however that AOL’s not concerned in the least. There’s plenty of people ready to click and take my place in the room. They’re welcome to it.
I had a bad experience. I went into a chat room under my friend's screen name. Guess what I found, or should I say who.
My husband was in the chat room flirting with every girl in there, plus a few asked him if they could e mail their phone #'s, he said."oh yea baby". He even tried hitting on me, not knowing I was his wife. I called him a pig. Am I divorcing the SOB? U BET. See that's what married guys/ladies do in those rooms. Thanks for this article.
To eiknarf77
You are very informative, and I agree with every word you wrote. Thank you.
To RSP
Never give up. Sometimes people have to take a break from each other.I bet she is there for you, so hang in there.
BLONDE BOMBSHELL
To eiknarf77
You are very informative, and I agree with every word you wrote. Thank you.
To RSP
Never give up. Sometimes people have to take a break from each other.I bet she is there for you, so hang in there.
BLONDE BOMBSHELL
Read the Bombshell's article on chat rooms. When I was younger, say in my early teens, I would sneak in the adult chat rooms when my mother was out. I would just sit there and ck out what people were saying. My mother caught me. grounded me.
Am now a Junior at Harvard Law School, and remember back, now that I can go in the chat rooms, they don't interest me. My life if full as it is.Who needs the drama.
Go Harvard
Miss, you are so on the mark about chat rooms. I met a woman from a chatroom. Before we met, she sent me a pic of a beautiful redhead,like a model. When we met for coffee, she was different. She weighed at the least 255 lbs, was about 10 years older then she told me. I asked her why she lied to me. She said she was lonely. So I bought her dinner, took her home. and now I don't date any chatroom ladies.Now she is stalking me,with calls and e mail. So I can relate to what you went through.
Joseph
You are rare, a woman not afraid to speak her mind. I applaud you. Keep up the good work. As for chat rooms., making a friend is good,being stalked is another.I am a woman, yes I go in chatrooms.I weigh about 190 lbs. so the roomies call me fatty, and that hurts,but where else can I be someone else (which I now plan on being).
YOU INSPIRE ME.
Helen
I applaud you for not being afraid to speak your mind. I am a woman, am overweight, say 195 lbs. I go in a room, am called FATTY. It hurts my feelings, but they don't care.So now I will change my screen name, ditch my picture, why? because I am a lonely woman.All I want is friends, like you met.
Wish I had your confidence.
Helen
TO HELEN,
Never change who you are for anyone. It sounds like you have a great personality. Just be who you are, there are too many fakes out there as it is.
If you are uncomfortable with your weight, choose a diet, hit the gym, and when you are done, go in the room, tell them all to go to hell. YOU ARE WOMAN.
THE BOMBSHELL
TO HELEN,
Never change who you are for anyone. It sounds like you have a great personality. Just be who you are, there are too many fakes out there as it is.
If you are uncomfortable with your weight, choose a diet, hit the gym, and when you are done, go in the room, tell them all to go to hell. YOU ARE WOMAN.
THE BOMBSHELL
A friend sent me the link to your site. I am a 38 year old woman. Met a police officer in the NYPD chatroom. We spoke on the phone, dated, I fell in love with him. Since he was a law officer I trusted him.
The other night he told me, he was married, and that he liked me, but it was over.His wife had found out.
I trusted this man to be honest with me, so I gave him my heart.Am sorry about you're experiences in a room. Am now done with the rooms,he played me for sex, and stole my heart.Good for you for speaking out.
BROKEN HEARTED
I really enjoyed your writing and would love to read more. As for what you say about chatrooms I think its like Forrest Gump....Life is like a box of Chocolates, you never know what you are going to get.
Lokke forward to your next writing!
Hi, well a woman that speaks her mind, it's refreshing. I am a male, used to hit the rooms, then this woman began e mailing me 20 times a day, following me to every room I entered. Finally I put her on block. It does happen to us guys also as you know. I would like to meet the bombshell that isn't afraid to speak her mind,but will wait for your next article.You are one of a kind blonde.
Stephen
Chatrooms definitely have a purpose in life. Just should not become someone's life. I totally agree.
Maverick states---i use to live in chat rooms especially on weekends, looking to find female friends online for i was lonely. because i didn't go out for i didn't know where to go to find a nice woman. i also gave up the bar scene, not my bag plus what you find in bars are one night stands and i just don't believe in using a woman and i quit drinking in 1994. so where does a nice guy find a nice woman? i have 3 females online that i have addresses and phone numbers and come every Christmas and on their birthdays i do send them something from me. 2 of them are maried now and they did tell husbands of me and they are ok with it for i am no threat. we have been friends online for 9 years and i haven't met any of them in person. 2 of them were going to fly to Iowa to take care of me when i lacerated my left arm 7 inches long, 95% sliced a tendon and it was ticking out of my arm. i was off work for 11 weeks and had no use of my left arm for 5 weeks so i wore sweats and my son had to tie my shoes, i couldn't do it. i have also helped 2 of them with money even though they told me they couldn't pay me back i still sent money and boxes of food to them to help them out for they also had children. i have also ran into stalkers and liars. i have flown to California to meet one lady only to have my heart broken by her. have also flown to Ohio and found out she was married and even met her husband, that was a shock. drove to Corpus Christi, Texas to meet another but she was needy, wanted somebody to take care of her since her husband took everything leaving her with her car and clothes plus living in some guys house which was questionable for she paid no rent.
my problem, i always find ones that interest me but they live FAR away. lets say out of the 10 women i found or they found me online, 1/2 told the truth about themselves, the other half were plain liars. pictures they sent me were over 10 years old, the description they gave me was opposite and to make matters even worst they kept this lie up for over a year. then when i try to meet them they always have an excuse as to why i can't. i had this one, we talked for hours and my son was part of the date and so was her son so i thought i was safe. she always stated she didn't have a recent picture to send me even though i sent her mine. so we made a date, she lived here in town so i thought i would show off a little so i drove my sports car (1986 Pontiac Trans Am)then when we showed up at her house and we knocked on her door, it was like a horror film. she told me she was s nurse and when she came to the door, she was as wide as the door. then we went to kmart to get snacks for movie and with kids in back seat, she was all over me. oh, i also couldn't shut the door she was so huge, she had to roll sideways then once i got in she was an octopus. i made up every excuse why we couldn't go to movie, i feared for my safety and my sons. that night was a nightmare. what happened next was a shock, i was able to escape then drove as fast as i could home for i knew her car couldn't keep up with mine and car stayed in garage for 3 months just in case she came looking for me for she was separated. if anyone decides to meet people from online, do meet in a public place that way you can escape in the crowd and don't have them pick you up, both drive own cars. one thing i also never did was go inside there house after a date. it seems in todays dating scene women expect sex on first date and you may think this is funny but i avoid that at all costs and when i walk her to her door, i tell them goodnight then leave. i don't want a woman to feel she owes me anything for taking her out even though we met online.
michael says---chat room dates are not safer than meeting them in person. if you meet someone in person, you have the immediate opportunity to take them out to eat and talk with them to see if you have anything in common other than sexual attraction. if only sexual, it will not work, there has to be something more to make it work for someday the sexual thing will end so there must be something else to keep the two together. behind a computer screen
you have no idea who or what they look like. they can tell you everything you want to hear and over time you want to meet them in person. as time goes on, phone numbers are exchanged, then addresses then they meet. sometimes it goes well and other times it doesn't, somebody has lied. best way i was told, if they have kids, to include kids in pictures that way you can see just how old kids ages are compared to what she told you. when they do not send pictures be leery, they are hiding something or they may be telling the truth but still be leery. some have found me from member directory, liked what they saw and IM'd me. we talked online then they sent me their phone number and asked me to call them for they wanted to hear my voice. sometimes i do and alot of times i don't. one nightmare date. both my sons were part of date, for she had 2 girls about same ages of my sons so i asked her if she would like to meet at Adventurland in Des Moines, Iowa, a small version of 6 flags. we arrived early so we could watch for her. both my sons knew what she looked like from her picture. we heard her calling my name and all of looked but didn't see her. then somebody tapped me on my shoulder and when i turned around to see who it was, i was in total shock. i think both my sons mouths hit the ground also. when i turned around, her clothes looked as if she slept in them for a month, all wrinkled and messy, her hair was a mess, her face looked as if somebody beat the crap out of her and she SMELLED BAD to where my eyes were watering. i wanted to leave but boys wanted to go inside so we all did. she asked for a kiss but she never got one then i paid for the entire day for all 6 of us. luckily her girls wanted to go one way and my sons other way so we parted. then we met again at a water ride and that was a mistake for when she got wet, she smelled even worst and everybody in boat looked at me and her, i felt ashamed and bad for them to suffer as well. even one of my sons made a comment of dad, what is that nasty smell? she wanted to go on 2 more water rides and both of them she had to sit between my legs and my eyes just watered from smell of her. as day went on, i prayed my sons would get tired and wanted to go home. by then i had a severe headache from her smell, it was awful. each time we sat on a bench watching kids, her hand would go to my leg, up and down till i stopped her then she would lean into me for a kiss, i would stand up and state "lets walk to dry off" then later my boys were tired around 6 pm, her girls wanted to stay and watch fireworks and i told them to stay, i paid for entire day and we left leaving her and girls behind. then they yelled at us, they wanted to follow me home, by then, "hell no".
now when i go on online dates, i always drive my trans am for if i get into trouble i want to get out of it as fast as i got into it. as we hit I-80, she was right behind me so i speeded up, still right behind me so i floored it doing in excess of 100 miles an hour and she slowly disappeared behind me in her van, i knew she couldn't keep up. later she IM'd me and i told her it wouldn't work and never talked with her again.
I live in Chicago, found your blog on Craigs List. Very interesting,am a male, Chicago police officer,and Blonde you sure do know your stuff. I get similar in the Chicago room. Badge bunnies all over me, and yea even stalking.I decided to date one woman I spoke to for a while. Asked her out. When we met, she said (WHERE IS YOUR UNIFORM KEVIN).I told her I was off duty, she replied, (I wanted to date a cop in uniform) among other nasty words.. Being a gentleman, I got her a cab. Told her good luck in life. Now she e mails me daily, and is becomming a pest. There are some good things about chat rooms as you said,but with my schedule, who needs badge bunnies, enough perps on the streets of Chicago. Write more blonde, love your blogs.If you ever hit Chi town, would love to meet an outgoing woman like you.
Sgt. Kev.
I am a guy from out of town. Came to New York City to meet a girl I met in a chatroom. I took a taxi to Brooklyn, her address.A much older woman answered the door,I asked for Julia, she said she was Julia. Now i'm 38, and this woman looked at the least 60. She asked if I was Mitch.I told her yes. She invited me in.Said she forgot to tell me she was older and a grandmother of 3.I went back to my hotel, had your blog on my laptop, since I had read your article,but didn't believe you. Am sorry I doubted you now.Blonde if you know, tell me why people lie in chat rooms? Maybe they are lonely,but I flew 1500 miles to meet a girl that didn't exist.I learned my lesson, now I agree with your article.No more travelling to meet strangers for me Bombshell. Thanks for the warning. Guess I had to learn for myself tho.
Mitch
I am a guy from out of town. Came to New York City to meet a girl I met in a chatroom. I took a taxi to Brooklyn, her address.A much older woman answered the door,I asked for Julia, she said she was Julia. Now i'm 38, and this woman looked at the least 60. She asked if I was Mitch.I told her yes. She invited me in.Said she forgot to tell me she was older and a grandmother of 3.I went back to my hotel, had your blog on my laptop, since I had read your article,but didn't believe you. Am sorry I doubted you now.Blonde if you know, tell me why people lie in chat rooms? Maybe they are lonely,but I flew 1500 miles to meet a girl that didn't exist.I learned my lesson, now I agree with your article.No more travelling to meet strangers for me Bombshell. Thanks for the warning. Guess I had to learn for myself tho.
Mitch
Great article, all true.We are a bunch of guys just waiting for your next article Blonde. Am sure it will be as good as the last one. Keep them all coming.As for chatrooms, good for some, bad for others.
The Guys from BUNGALOW8
Waiting for your next article. WHEN?WHEN?WHEN?WHEN?
Joseph and friends.
I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART. HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
LOVE ALWAYS,
MIKE
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